Tuesday, August 30, 2005

7 sets of random 7's

Vixen tagged me for a meme of 7's. I figured that I've got some time that I'll go ahead and throw some attention to it.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1- Walk along the serene black sand beaches of Hawaii
2- Visit the Sakura and Shogetsu trees in Japan
3- Build and maintain a asian meditation garden
4- Find my path of peace, enlightenment and tranquility in this mess of a world
5- Develop and sucessfully maintain my professional consulting business
6- Spend as much time as it takes to visit spas in the Southwest
7- Own my very own American Bungalow

7 things I can do:
1- Listen intently to people's problems and read into them like a book
2- Worry about other people's issues as well as keeping track of my own
3- Cook meals and desserts like it's nobody's business
4- Remember odd factoids about pretty much everything I read
5- Pick out grammatical and syntactical errors no matter what I am reading
6- Devour books in a day
7- Pick up crazy things with my feet

7 things I cannot do:
1- Drive stick ( I have this hand-eye-foot coordination issue or something)
2- Wear pantyhose every day of the week (no way, no how, don't even ask)
3- Accurately remember lines from movies
4- Decide on how to keep my hair cut (it's been almost 8mos now since I got it cut last and my hair grows super super fast)
5- Go to the grocery store for just one thing
6- Have a logical conversation, digression has nothing on me
7- Make impulse decisions. I am the planner and the schemer as to figure out how it will all work out.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1- eyes
2- sense of humor, sarcasm and scathing wit
3- compassion for the world around them
4- their ability to know that I can be a bit kooky but it's just something you've got to deal with
5- be able to keep up with witty banter
6- worldly knowledge of things that I do not know about in order to introduce me to them
7- ability to accept that I can be as quiet as a mouse or as ferocious as a hellcat given the situation

7 things that I say most often:
1- wtf?!
2- You've got to be fucking kidding me
3- Bloody hell
4- Isn't that some shit
5- ...in the grand scheme of things...
6- I digress...
7- Tell me how *you* think it is

7 celebrity crushes:
1- Clive Owen
2- Jason Statham
3- Lauren Graham
4- Camryn Manheim
5- Craig Ferguson (if just for the accent)
6- Kevin James
7- Sean Murray cute in that geeky sorta way

7 people I want to do this:
1- ZipperSeven
2- J Weston
3- Lisa
4- Lucky
5- Jenn
6- Ash
7- Well if you are reading this and I haven't tagged you and you want to, gfi

Friday, August 26, 2005

Tiptoeing through confusion

Things here have been pretty hectic lately. I am sad to say we've had to deal with the less pleasant passages of life and have been consumed with that. Also I am scrambling to get this DIS stuff taken care of as the registration deadline nears. I got socked with graduate tuition that my job does not pay for so I am trying to sort that out to the best of my ability. Lots more stuff but I am just too tired to lay it all out on the table right now. So, faithful readers take heart, I'll be back soon enough, cheekier and snarkier than ever...after my batteries recharge.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Enough already

Please make the heat stop...I *know* it is Florida and I *know* it is summer but really it's just too much.

Weather as of right now: 95F, heat index 108F, 75% humidity, oh my!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Ranty rant

I don't know whether I've become more aware of it or that people just think that they can get away with it now with greater frequency but red light running is really irking me. I work downtown. And you see, when I say downtown, I mean that there is a traffic light on every block. Yes, I get stopped at practically every light because I am just a special driver like that. Anyway, since I am usually two cars back from going through the intersection, I get the opportunity to count how many bozos continue to go through the light even though it is red and has been for long enough for them to know that it means stop. Or at least they should know that. Supposedly, the city cops are coming down on red light runners but call me a citizen cop because I'll write down the offending license plate numbers and mail them to you. I guess my biggest concern is that I know people don't pay attention when they are driving anymore. That means as I am trying to second guess what they do, another driver is going to blindside me because they don't have the time to follow simple traffic laws. Many people will see this as a blip in the grand scheme of things but it bothers me to no end. It's right on up there with people not being smart enough to turn on their lights while driving in the rain or using their turn indicator to change lanes, make turns etc. Perhaps I make too big of a deal but maybe not enough people are making a deal out of it. I've said it before but if I had the answers, most likely I wouldn't be sitting here today doing what I am doing. Lucky you, I don't have the answers and I get to sit here and prattle on about life in general.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Hectic Weekend

Hang on, I've got to catch my breath. Ok, we can start now. What a weekend. For some *crazy* reason I decided to go all gung ho and clean my house. The current operational theory on all of this is that I've got a lot on my mind. I can't organize my thoughts but I sure as hell can organize my house. For as long as I can remember this is how it has always been. I always had a clean dorm room. Always. And I have to say the majority of what I set out to accomplish is done, there are only a few things that I want to go back and tidy up. Today is the first day of school for the hooligans here so it is a perfect excuse for me to leave work and go right home. There is still more of this cleaning bug in me and I know it is just to get my mind to work in different ways. I am dedicated to making sure that I don't waste the time I have anymore. On a separate note, I've got to hand it to Z7, he really came through for me because I know how much he loathes cleaning. He was a trooper about it. Warms the heart of this cheeky dame, I tell ya.

There are other pending issues that have settled around us to make it hectic in other ways but at the core of everything, me and Z7, we're just fine. I know if I didn't throw that in there I would have an inbox of concerned readers (well ok, maybe one or two). With all the things I learn now in my life I can't imagine how amazingly difficult it is to teach kids that families encompass so many things. There is no *one* way to describe them. And I also feel that family is a dynamic concept. A relationship that changes the outlook of those involved on a constant basis. It's a rather remarkable concept. Maybe it is one of those great things that you learn after time and with all the emphasis that is put on early childhood learning, people fool themselves that it just stops after a certain point. Learning occurs over a lifetime. And the decisions we make today affect how we approach situations tomorrow. I digress...

This is one of those moments where I sit back and laugh because I haven't been reading much lately due to my priorities but I've had those moments of revelation. Who knows what brought it on? I don't and I don't claim to make any guesses to it. But life is rarely a narrow road that leads to only one destination.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Tagging back

List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Sleep to Dream - Fiona Apple Tidal
2. Birdcage - The Wallflowers Breach
3. My Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow The Very Best of Sheryl Crow
4. Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band Before These Crowded Streets
5. The Passenger - The Wallflowers Rebel, Sweetheart
6. Way - Fastball All the Pain Money Can Buy
7. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something Home
8. Walk on the Ocean - Toad the Wet Sprocket P.S.: A Toad Retrospective
9. Big Time - Peter Gabriel Shaking the Tree: 16 Golden Greats
10. Three Marlenas - The Wallflowers Bringing Down the Horse

So I guess this works that I tag new people now? Ok so I tag Caffeinated Raptor, Syko, Lisa, Lucky, Ash and Jenn

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Out of touch

To all the loyal readers, I apologize. I have been slightly out of touch lately as I am frantically trying to get my lazy ass back into school. Right now things are on the up and up as I have a faculty advisor and a good idea of what topic I'd like to cover. Now I just need to muster the courage and dust off some of that intellect I have been saving for a rainy day. Z7 made a good point in our car discussion last night that I compartmentalize a lot of my intelligence on an everyday basis. Kind of shy away from just what I know because most of the people I have interaction with would be lost if I really got on a tangent. He went on to point out that I try too hard to be a "pleaser". For too long I have made decisions to compromise and to see the situation where it was beneficial for all involved. Two for two, I'm impressed. No question as to why I keep him around. Hearing it from him was excellent motivation to get my initial proposal ironed out. Furious typing and maybe 35 min later I had my draft proposal. Hopefully if my editors can get back to me, I'll get it turned in tonight.

This has been the summer of revelations I would have to say. Nothing monumental but maybe enlightening would be a more apt description. Many things have become clearer as to what is really going on. Don't take the days you have now for granted. You never know what could happen tomorrow. Family is very important but they should be viewed as concentric circles. Remember what's at the core and build out from there. As you grow up, people move in and out of the core and it's your job to keep tabs on things so that the balance doesn't get out of whack. Be honest with yourself. Don't weave a web of fibs to comfort yourself and forget the truth. Life is tough and you're supposed to make the best of it. No one can do that for you. Sometimes the stronger person is the one who can pick up the pieces of the shattered dream and make the mosaic out of it rather than the person with a pristine stained glass window. The road to happiness is a run-down dirt road. Don't let the well manicured median and freshly paved road to failure sway you. Always succumbing to what you want leaves a void in your life. You fail to learn the value of earning what you want. Plastic money can buy the world but it cannot buy your happiness.

More pressing revelations: I cannot make everyone in the world happy. I work quickly therefore it is difficult for me to remain constantly busy. People are going to have to deal with that. With each passing day it is becoming clearer that a change is coming. I know that I need to take the steps to make that change and take the chance that it is a good decision. That in and of itself is a frightening thought.

I'm trading up my plate at the buffet of life. Time for me to find out just how much I can handle.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Welcome home Discovery!

With a fantastic landing out at Edwards at the wee hours of the morning, Commander Collins brought Discovery and her crew home. A great job by all as we become more aware of the world and the space that we live in. Hopefully we can get some answers and be back on track for shuttle successful shuttle flights before the end of the year.

Cheers to Discovery and NASA! Let's get Atlantis up...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Because I'm an addict

I cannot get enough of this no matter how much it frustrates me! You better believe I am reading those newspapers hella quick now LOL

And my little brother too

Yes, he really did mention my little brother Jeb. And yes kids, he is waving to astronauts that can't see him. But since he waves and does goofy hand gestures all the time, this should come as no surprise. Here at Mystique, Inc. we're not sure who got the prez a decent tv but my money is on the people at NASA who wanted to make sure that Boosh knew how far away the astronauts are. Heh heh, at least these people can meet and greet with the President with only wearing socks. Those lacrosse players are probably pissed because of all the flack they got about the flip flops.

Well my commentary on this will probably go over as well as me joking about Dubbya and his mini tv. Guess this is a blog that isn't for the critics.

It's also a shame that I can no longer look at the leader of the United States without being seriously reminded of the guy who does the spot on impersonation of the prez on Craig Ferguson's show. Thank you for my pretty little dvr that lets me watch all of the Fergetron's eps.

And I am going to digress here for a brief moment. When will the brilliant drivers in this beautiful state realize that if it is raining you MUST TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS. Not only that but if you drive a silver car, don't expect me to see you in the rain. It's already dark and cloudy out and your car is so suitably camouflaged. (/rant)

I guess for the obvious superfluous stuff here I don't have a lot to say. Guess that's cool since I am really convinced no one reads this. Oh well. It's free and it's snazzy and it makes me happy.

Godspeed Discovery. You're doing things that kids like us can only dream of. Thanks for doing such an amazing job!

Monday, August 01, 2005

Monday blahs

I'm sitting here wondering where the weekend went and how it's already Monday. Seriously, things started out well to really make it a relaxing weekend then *bam* my alarm is going off at o'dark fifteen. I think it was really yesterday that made everything a blur.

Oh well, nothing to do but to move on. A few interesting things of note: other than having this headache that won't give me peace I did get to finish the latest Harry Potter book. Click the link and I know my review is on there somewhere (if you really want to know what I thought about it, the linkage to my Amazon reviews are in the sidebar). Not a bad little read. Once I got into it, the pages just flew by. I think out of all the Potter installments, this one went quickest for me. I am already in anticipation for the last book. Tell me how it all works out and tell me now, lol. One of these days I'll go back and read the entire series to get the complete mythology in my head. Kind of like doing an all day Star Wars marathon or something to that effect.

Check out the Raptor's up and coming popularity. I tell you what, I start blogging and get two other guys on it and they're running with it more than me. Maybe I am meant to be a catalyst rather than a leader. Who knows? I've already decided that I may say many things but only few of them are actually heard. Blogging is therapeutic.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my return to school. Many suggestions have passed my desk and I am taking them all in. Right now the options fall under two categories: Tallahassee and beyond. The way I see it, I am here for at least another 9 months. Best plan is to make the best of it and see what that broohah hah school of my undergraduate years has to offer. The MBA path has made some strong suggestions to me here as of late and I could be done with that in a year. Psych options are a little more muddied at this point for a stay in Tallahassee kind of deal. As for the beyond, the two concentrations of school areas are the midwest and the Carolinas. This kind of surprises me because it fits well into areas I would consider moving to. Right now the big push is to get research time in. I've contacted people up at the undergrad institution and I have one who is willing to work with me. My biggest hurdle now is to come up with a topic I want to research. I've been thinking and I believe the list is capped at a strong five. We'll see. I just know now more than ever that I cannot continue hanging on to my sanity and working for the man in the capacity I am now. Too much wasted brain horsepower.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how this journey of life for me has gone so far. Sure I've done the introspective thing before but I think now more than ever it holds importance as I am approaching one of those greeting card milestones. The one where insurance rates finally let off and car rental places let you become a customer. Some of this has also come to pass because a dear friend of mine and Zipper are also reaching this mark and it has really got me thinking. Goals have taken on a new meaning for me. I suppose they have a more tangible quality that allows me to see what is possible to get done and how much work it will take to get there. I know in the past I had the maturity to accomplish things but I think I've grown even more now to see how I can take small things and let them snowball into larger milestones that more people can appreciate than just me. I pushed too hard to get started. I finally see that now. School before was not up to my usual standards because I tried to make too many people happy and the #1 person on that list wasn't me. I compared my life to others who had completely different paths set for them thinking I could see my path in theirs. Yeah kind of like the cliche putting a circular peg into a square slot. I can only live for me.

This great epiphany of sorts I think is driving Zipper crazy. I'll pick the oddest of times to ask those ponderous questions. Fueled by low self esteem and some helpings of self doubt, my questions fall flatter than jokes at the Comedy Store. I can't help it. I've got to ask these questions or the nagging conscience gets to me by not taking things I am comfortable with for granted. I'll be jealous because I don't want to find out that I've been living in a house of cards and they are crumbling around me. I think that is a lesson we are all too slow to learn. There has to be a point in time where our blinders come off and we see reality for what it is. No longer is it the technicolor dream with bands playing our theme music, it is the true to life colors where the music only comes when we play it. I know that some of this eye opening comes as a function of age and maturity. Ask me a year ago if I was this introspective and I would have given you the classic Raven eyebrow. I mean seriously, if you would have asked me this five years ago I would have had a good hearty laugh at your expense. And this comes from someone who expresses maturity way beyond her years. Go figure.

I now want to hear people say what they mean and mean what they say. I want their actions to speak the words that they don't always say. Give me a token, in word or in deed, that things are going to be better and life is on the up and up. Don't let me rest in the fact that I should know what is intended. I know I am doing my best to hold up my end of this. Believe me it is difficult. But I think when it is all said and done it is worth it. I need to know that the same future I am using as a benchmark is a shared vision. I've seen what happens when things are taken for granted. I want to be reminded of what I have and what it all means.

Little things used to bother me in life. To some extent they still do but I just have a better hold on what I can do about it to make it better. Take this morning. I've got to drive separetly to work because I am going to the dentist today (don't even ask how excited I am about that). I notice that my car is low on gas, the top button of my shirt that never stays button is hanging by a thread and traffic sucks so hard that I am looking to retool my vaccum when I get home to improve its efficiency. Can I change any of these things? Yeah the button. And really when it all boils down to it, that's not all that important. That's what safety pins are made for. I know now that I don't need *things* to make me happy. I can wait for that chance for wish fufilment. Am I losing out now? Maybe but at least I can go about it with solid backing. Should I be in school now? Probably but does that take away the contacts that I have at my job now. It sure does. You can't buy people networking nor can you buy real-world-crappy-job-low-end-of-the-totem- pole-bottom-of-the-food-chain experience. I live for me now. That means I care for others and then take care of myself. I buy 99 cent sharpie minis because I like them and I know that a dollar makes me happier in the long run than winning the lottery could.

Because I am me, I am going to ask stupid questions that make me seem vulnerable. It's a chip in my armor that comes out every once and a while. I will call into question motives and decisions because I see the world differently. There are going to be churlish and surly remarks. I speak faster than I think. There will be blah days because I can't take everything in without shutting my mouth and letting my brain process everything.

Whew that's a lot of stuff for a blah Monday. I didn't really intend on rambling like this. Oh well. I know that there are only a handful of people out there who read this. I doubt it will come as a surprise to them. It has eased my mind to a degree and that's what I think counts the most. Jester and Zipper played a large part in this and I think they both know where they come in. I am just going to sit back, drink my Coke Zero and dread going to the dentist this afternoon. I hope to all the divinities that my insurance will be enough to cover the stuff I need to get done. That's my next stop on the internet. Damn, I've been at this for two whole hours now. I've got a lotta stuff to say.