Deep Thoughts

I woke up this morning with a bunch of random thoughts in my head. Not particularly sure why but much of my sagely advice has been sought here recently and I think that is what has brought on this period of enlightenment. Rough relations with the home folks, another batch of hurricane anxiety, guiding people making that big step to move out on their own, mix ups with the law, a wacky street neighbor, and a bevy of other missteps and wrong turns that really brings out the intuitive and advice giving side of me. I know that at least here I can air out some of my thoughts with little scruitiny and there's a chance it might help someone with a nod of encouragement or something. I'm no where near a professional (well maybe a little) but I do know that I have this uncanny knack to see things other people overlook.

A frequenly used metaphor for our life journey has to do with a path. I've got to say I give a lot of credit to this because it always quells up vivid images for me to relate to. With my disposition as a visual learner, I can also relate to others using my imagery through powerful verbal context. So here's my attempt to explain my latest revelation on the path we make for ourselves to travel... As always, there are small things on the path that distract us: a small stone in our shoe to a unique prospect that begs for our attention. Our reaction to these things make more of an impact than I think most of us are inclined to give credit. Most people will cringe at the pain and irritation that the little stone will cause but will overlook the consequences of taking too much stock in the shiny object that draws our attention away from the here and now.

There is a funny thing about shortcuts on this path. Sometimes they really do work for our advantage like a break in a move in fee because you were there at the right time or you were able to get a bonus deposit because you were setting up a savings account. Little things that boil down to a matter of circumstance. But there are always those shortcuts that look very appealing as you are taking them but you are unaware as to how they are going to come up behind you and bite you in the ass. Believe me, I've had my fair share of them. (Ooh Ooh work two jobs because you can make so much mad cash and still go to school at the same time. Now here I sit looking back wishing I could have made better grades in this class or that. But the biggest thing that I have come to terms with is that I am a better person for the mistakes I have made because I would be just as naiive had I not made them.)

As for taking the long way around, there are definitely pitfalls in that plan too. But more often than not, as you are making the journey you find out cues about you that help you better define who you are. Let's face it, the long way around is usually the more difficult path. In that same vein, there are more distractions as we take the longer route and even more possibilities to stray from our ultimate way. I don't know my ultimate way and that's an honest statement. I do know that there are certain qualities that I want to be ultimately endowed with as I make my way such as fairness to others and to myself, remaining inquisitive about the world around me rather than becoming a welcome mat for it to wipe its feet on, being true to myself (which is a quality that has taken many years to hone and I am still perfecting it), and realizing that happiness can be a bitter mix of good times and bad.

With all of this comes this revelation of reality. Looking into the mirror and seeing what truly is there rather than what we want to see. I've got the scars from roadblocks that I thought I could master and I've also got a list of healthy accomplishments that I was able to take on (yeah like scout badges or something). I know I've made some bonehead maneuvers and some of them repeatedly in a short amount of time. But I also know that watching others deal with life and throwing out a suggestion or two has helped me more than they could ever know. I don't have all the answers and neither do they. Together we've got a lot of the answers but there will never be a time where we are omniscient. It wasn't meant to be like that.

A funny anecdote to all of this is that when you're in a particularly reflective mood, the cliches you've heard thrown around all your life take on new meaning as if they actually make sense. Some of them, not all of them. It's almost like even when things are darkest, mundane things taken on a blinding clarity. I've really taken stock in 'that which does not kill you, makes you stronger'. And I'm making a late resolution to start vocalizing my feelings rather than sanitizing those that I feel are fit for public consumption and repressing those that are not. I've tested the waters and I know which people are strong enough to weather the storm and which are good for lookout.

This post is not meant to be a sermon from yours truly nor is it meant to say look how smart I am. Not in my wildest dreams (and I tell you, I've got an active imagination). But I dusted off my soapbox and I am taking my sweet time with it. So for all of you loyal readers out there (and I know that there are droves of them) leave some feedback if you are so inclined or don't take another second to read. I don't mind either way. It's my blog and I am going to talk until I am tired of listening to myself.

And on a special note of personal privilege, I'd like to recommend seeing Batman Begins. It's an awesome movie and if they plan on making more in this same style, I foresee a strong resurgence in the comic persona.